The story? 1984 Olympic Gold Medal Gymnast Kurt Thomas is recruited by The Government to represent the US of A in an ultra-deadly game hosted by one of those mythical Eastern bloc countries (Parmistan) that were all the rage in the 80's. The winning country of "The Game" gets one wish - and in this particular case Uncle Sam wants a fat Star Wars radar outpost planted on some strategic parcel of Parmistan land. Lame wish? Yes. But the point of the movie isn't plot, man - it's high-flyin', back-flippin', pommel-horse-twurlin' Gymkata ack-shun! Mighty good thing for 1984 Olympic Gold Medal Gymnast Kurt Thomas the Parmistan country-side is abounding with gymnastics equipment...

Apparently Gymkata enjoys near-constant airtime on Direct TV and other cable movie channels I'm not cool enough to have. Available on VHS over at Amazon - though, as one might expect with a film of this caliber, the price tag is strictly for the hardcore 1984 Olympic Gold Medal Gymnast Kurt Thomas fans. Brutality. The special edition DVD can't be far off.

A hearty thanks to Jeremy, Hi-Tech, Alan, John, Jay, Morgan, Jeff, Mike, Scott, David, and everyone else who chimed in...

Wo Hu Zang Long
Finally saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon over the weekend. Yes please.

It was "an epic love story set against the breathtaking landscapes of ancient China". Despite the fact that it did contain fragments of romance, Crouching Tiger was told in the Hong Kong martial arts genre, so y'know it's gonna be some gooood watchin'. Indeed everything folks told us it would be, and then some. Ninja combat was second to none. Lush cinematography. Great oriental-type soundtrack.

There were times when the aerial maneuvers (ninja flight!) were a little heavy-handed - many instances where it would've been more effective implied rather than shown. A small blemish on an otherwise glorious piece of hand-to-hand cinema.

We're incredible suckers for them all-CGI movies, and regardless of story or acting, FF:TSI is shaping up to be the King Monkey Rocket of computer animation. You can scope the official movie site over here.

A Little Help...
Remember a movie called "Gymkatta" (sp?) from back in the early 80's? It starred a famous gymnast of that time. The IMDB is zero help here.

Set in the orient. The story, as I recall, involved some manner of ancient competition where combatants had to get from Point A to Point B and fight each other along the way. There was a path that you had to follow, lined with mysterious masked referees. The hero of the film was an American who was a master of, naturally, Gymkatta - a secret mystical blend of gymnastics and kung-fu. In one scene the risky journey from A to B meant passing through a seemingly deserted town - which was actually lousy with crazed kung-fu cannibals. I'm sure Mr. Gymkatta was fighting for the honor of his girl and country or somesuch.

I suspect it is all very silly, but do remember taking it seriously as an impressionable youth (sworn from that moment forward to devote my life to the ultra-deadly high-flyin' ways of Gymkatta - back to the Star Wars figures ten minutes later). So, who starred in this masterwork? What was the movie actually about? Got pictures? Why has history been such a cruel mistress to this cinematic tour de force? Anyone?

Enjoyin' That Good Old Time(y) Music

Would You Like to Know More?
Scope out how technology takin' us one step closer to Starship Troopers: right cheer.

Speaking of our beloved Roughnecks, Dan spotted this over at DVDFile.com:

"The specs for that Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles - The Pluto Campaign DVD from Columbia have come in. The disc contains five episodes, including "Freefall," "Plasma Bugs of Navarone," "Handle With Care," "Basic Training" and "Deep Trouble," for a total of 95 minutes. It is presented in full frame and English 5.1 surround, with only some production notes and trailers as supplements. Street date is 3/13, and retail $24.95."

The facial sculpt is on the chunky side (somewhat recognizable), while the rest of the body is in fine detail. Paint job is pretty standard - though the blood was applied with a heavy hand. He's no weeblo either - barely able to stand on his own.

The best thing about this figure is the Necronomicon accessory. Lovin' it like Joanne loves Chachi. This little rubber book is a glorious reproduction and by itself worth the price of the admission. Excellent. Other extras include a cool metal hand to swap-out in place of the saw, the double barreled Remington (walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger), and a mini-Ash with deadly fork-weapon, who sports about as much detail as one would expect, given his diminutive stature.

Overall, glad to see this figure on the shelves, though methinks Ash deserved better.

Takin' Names
Behold this marvel of modern technology. What drives a man to such brilliant and ambitious heights?

Giving You a Flava of the Sell-Out Concept
Viva la SuperGreg!

Many an email regarding the man, the myth known as "SuperGreg". With great dolor I report that our boy is not what he seems. Greg is a tool of The Man. Some may recall witnessing him take on Buddy Lee in a Buddy Lee Challenge. Shocking, I know.

SuperGreg: corporate puppet.